July 1997
Summer Activities Promote Children's Growth
by Bobbi Fischer
As the summer vacation approaches, millions of American children are beginning to count the days until school lets out. When June finally comes, these children burst from the restraints of school and into the comparative freedom of summer vacation, but without some structure, the summer months may soon begin to seem endless.
"Where school is focused on academics, summer gives children of all ages multiple opportunities to try out different behaviors and test their talents in new ways", notes child psychoanalyst Mali Mann, M.D., who practices in Palo Alto. "If the child has a unique talent, such as in art or theater, summer is a good time to let that talent thrive and grow through special programs that are available to children in most Bay Area cities," she continues. "On the other hand, if a child is struggling in school, a mixture of structured learning and leisure experiences may give the child a head start on the next school level."
Summer daytime and overnight camps offer structured activities, and these programs can be particularly helpful when both parents work. "Parents who send their children away to camp should first make sure the children are ready developmentally and emotionally to go." Dr. Mann suggests a brief overnight experience of just a few days for a child of nine or ten, expanding to several weeks when the child is older. "Don't make children go away too soon, but also don't worry if they get a bit homesick at first - it's normal to miss your family and familiar surroundings."
Summertime is also a good time for family vacations, especially when young children are able to visit and get to know their relatives who live far away. "We live in such a nuclear family in the Bay Area. It's important for our children to learn they're part of a larger group. In addition, family vacations are also an important opportunity for parents and children to deepen their bonds." When planned well, vacations can provide needed time together as well as relaxation for the whole family.
Unstructured time can help family members get to know each other in a positive way and can improve family communication. Dr. Mann urges, "Don't ignore the importance of 'down time,' the chance for a family to just hang out and do nothing together. Activities with our children don't always have to be goal oriented; sometimes, it's really enough just to get to know each other."
For teenagers, summer offers the chance to try out adult behaviors, such as jobs and driving the family car on errands. These are two positive examples of the normal adolescent growth experience of risk-taking. According to Lynn Ponton, M.D., the myth of adolescence is that risk-taking is solely negative or self-destructive. Since risk-taking is a normal behavior, parents should set up positive experiences for teenagers so they can experience growth and gain confidence. " If they don't have positive challenges, they'll find a way to create negative risk-taking because this is part of their development, " Dr. Ponton explains. "Help them find summer jobs, whether it's as a lifeguard or just cleaning out Grandma's attic. You may want to set up physically or mentally challenging activities, such as hiking or an intense summer course in a subject that interests them."
Summer presents a variety of chances for children to learn important lessons in teamwork, responsibility, creativity and communication. When you have a child who is active and engaged, the summer won't stretch on and on for either of you. It just takes a bit of planning and commitment to making your child's summer experience a positive one.
Sidebar to summer story:
The following suggestions can help parents decide if their child is ready for an overnight camping adventure. These guidelines can help a child's overnight camping experience be successful.
- Don't send a child younger than eight years old to overnight camp. It's a good idea to start with day camp experiences.
- The child should have had other successful overnight experiences away from his parents with friends or relatives. Camping should not be a child's first overnight experience.
- The first camp you choose should be close enough to where you live so that you can get there within two or three hours if there is a serious problem.
- Choose a camp that lasts only one week for the first overnight camp experience.
- Have your child bring an object from home such as photographs of family members or a stuffed animal.
- Send along pre-addressed, pre-stamped postcards to make it easier for children to write home.
- Send postcards and letters to your children at least several times a week.
- Realize that it is normal for children to be homesick in the beginning of any new experience away from home, whether it is overnight camp to going away to college. Don't downplay your child's feelings, but don't rush to bring him or her home immediately, either.